They are trying to silence me!

Mah and Pappy found a note slipped under our front door today.
It reads like this:

Dear neighbor,

I am writing to let you know that we are becoming increasingly disturbed by your baby's cries. I understand that you have little control over when your baby starts crying. However, it often begins before our alarm goes off on weekday mornings and sometimes lasts for over half and hour. At other times, the sobs begin again mere minutes after a previous bout of crying.

This is beginning to seriously disturb our sleep cycle. We are unable to sleep in on weekends or relax in our bedroom during the afternoon without being disturbed by an unhappy baby. I understand that you are going through the same thing; however, it was not our choice to subject ourselves to having an infant around.

I ask with all due respect to please be considerate of the neighbors as much as possible, particularly before 9am on weekdays and 10am on weekends.

Thanks you,

(unsigned)
Your next door neighbor

Well, what do ya'll think about that? Okay.....

Number 1: I sleep from 8:30pm till 7:30am every day. People DREAM to have a baby like me.
2: Yes, I am a baby and NO, Mah and Pappy DON'T have control over my cries. I cry when I want to. I also sing along to music loudly which can be confused with crying.
3: I only sob when I think of how Sanjaya is still on Idol. Why hasn't he been voted off yet?
4: Who are these trust fund sissies that they can sleep till 9 on weekdays AND be home during the day to be disturbed by me? What grownup "relaxes" in bed during the day?
5: I AM NOT AN UNHAPPY BABY. Mah and Pappy read The Happiest Baby On The Block and I feel I am very happy, thank you.
6: "It was not our choice to subject ourselves to having a baby around".... Well EXCUSE ME FOR LIVING! Ummm, I'm a baby. We are necessary for the propagation of the freakin' species!
7: Most importantly - You live in PARK SLOPE!!!!!! Hello, there are babies and dogs everywhere. If you live here you should expect to hear babies and step in dog crap!

Sooooo.... I (a normally VERY happy baby) am now a very pissy baby. I need your help. Mah and Pappy are too hacked off to compose an adequate response to this person's letter. We are soliciting response letters. You give me your response, I'll post it on the blog. The winning entry will get slipped into the mail slot of the meanie next door.